I just read another adoptive mama’s IG caption and wept. She talked about the first year home and sitting and watching her other son do karate, in the stands with her new son. She wrote about running in late and unprepared every practice, the stares of other parents, how she counted down the minutes until it was over because she never knew how her new son was going to act. And she talked about one certain side comment from another parent that made her leave and never come back. And a weight I didn’t even know I was carrying lifted. I’m not alone, I realized.
We are still at that not quite sure what’s ever going to happen phase. And it’s hard. And I didn’t realize it but I’ve been ashamed. Not of my son, not even a little, but of myself. Because I feel like a mess. And I feel like I’m failing because things aren’t how I thought they should be. And I feel alone and so lonely. Until I read her words.
So mama, here are my words to you tonight: you are not alone.
To the mama who can’t remember if she brushed her teeth today
To the mama exhausted from advocating for her special needs kid
To the mama who can’t remember the last time you slept through the night uninterrupted
To the mama desperate for the early years to be over but sad thinking of when they won’t be so needy
To the mama who hasn’t had a break in a really long time
To the newly homeschooling mama who isn’t sure she has what it takes to finish each day
To the anxious mama walking through a crazy year and trying to hold it together
To the single mama carrying the weight of two roles
To the grieving mama putting on a brave face for her kids
To the adoptive and foster mama trying to navigate trauma and deep loss
To the mamas ashamed of sharp words and short fuses
You are not alone. Your tears that are falling, your failures you’re holding inside, the tiredness that is filling your heart- a million other mamas around the world carry that with you, a cord of weariness connecting our hearts together. And here’s the thing: we don’t have to be perfect. We don’t even have to have it figured out. Because on our own, we will fail every time. We can read every book and take every class and still fall flat on our faces if we don’t keep our gaze on Him. Because in a season of exhaustion, weariness, and unknowns, He is our constant. He is the one that fills in our gaps when we fall short. He is the one that fills us up when we are empty. He is the one that gives us grace upon grace when we fail. He is the one that looks on us with tenderness and calls us beloved when we can’t believe we still don’t have it together. Mamas we are always enough when He is within us. Let Him be the one who tells you your worth. Let Him be the one you cast your cares on. Let Him be the one you lean on every waking second of the day. Lay your mama burdens at His feet and see that He is so faithful and so good and so near us. And hold tight to the hope of a savior who came to the earth through an imperfect mama just like us. An imperfect and scared mama who clung to the same hope that we have. And we can wake up each day and say yes to Him even though we are imperfect and scared. And we can hang every single mama hope we have on the cross and be held up by our savior. And we can know that we are not alone.
The Vintage Summer Co 