You know how sometimes you think you’re TOTALLY FINE until you start to tell someone you’re totally fine; then, all of a sudden you realize you’re not totally fine?? That was me today. I’ve been having this weird upset/ nervous feeling stomach once or twice a month for the last few months and I was telling Adam about it. I told him “I just don’t know what’s going on because I genuinely haven’t been worrying or stressing through this.” And as the words came out of my mouth, tears suddenly quivered in my eyes and then spilled over until I couldn’t talk. Then all of a sudden, words I didn’t even know I had inside of me began tumbling out through my crying. “I just don’t even know how to figure out what the truth is.” “How can there literally be two exact opposites claiming they are both exactly right?” “Who are we supposed to believe when everyone says something different.” “I think I was naive before and just felt falsely safe and secure.” “Overall I used to feel like the world was generally safe and now I feel scared.” “How can we make sure our kids’ foundation is so strong and secure, nothing scary will shake it?” “How do I decide the truth for my family??” “When will things be normal again?” “What will that normal even be??” Turns out all my Facebook scrolling and news reading had really shaken my world and my heart. And today, I felt fearful and unsure; and I’ve felt that way for weeks.

Because what I’ve realized these last few months is that the world is actually scary. It is full of sinful people who really don’t care about what’s best for me or my family. I was naive to feel secure based off of the safety in the world. But Jesus said “There is trouble in the world. But take heart, for I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD.” What does that mean for us in a time like this, or any time? It means that our security and peace isn’t determined by who’s in power or who’s not, or a pandemic. It means that our security and peace isn’t determined by the economic outlook of our country. It means that our security and peace aren’t determined by a news station or newspaper. It comes from Jesus Christ. Fully God but fully man, He walked this earth and experienced our humanness. He knows the pain felt in a groaning and sinful world. He is the author of our days. He knows our every breath, every hair on our head, every nervous heartbeat and flutter of our stomach. He is near us. And He reigns.

The hymn says:

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone

It is hard to rest in this truth sometimes. It’s hard to trust His goodness sometimes in the midst of unknowns. It’s hard to say all fear is gone. But BECAUSE HE LIVES, we can. Because He came to this earth to overcome it, we can. Because He walked out a perfect life in a sinful world, we can. Because He defeated sin and death on the cross, we can. Because He promises to be near us, we can. Because He promises empowering grace, we can.

Honestly, I’m wrestling this a lot now. It is SO HARD to rest and trust with all the scariness around us. It’s hard to rest and trust when every time I turn on my phone, sensational headlines flash out at me. It’s hard to rest and trust when nothing is familiar or normal. But every time I feel my head and my heart spinning out of control, Jesus gently reminds me that my security is not in this world. My security rests with gaze up and arms out; praising Him through it all, trusting Him through it all, drawing ever closer to Him through it all, and knowing that because He lives, my fears are gone.