This season, I long to keep my gaze fixed on the manger.  And it’s so hard.  My days are not hushed or expectant; they are filled with chaos, noise, and a determined grit to hang my hopes on new morning mercies each day.  Adding our sweet boy to our family has made this advent sweeter and full of celebration, but it has also made it a season full of many transitions and hard emotions.  So while we rejoice, we are hurting and scared and full of questions too.

And I can only imagine that maybe Mary felt this way too, on that first Christmas, and I draw comfort and grace from that.  Rejoicing that the Promised Messiah was finally here, incredulous she was called to mother him, but I’m sure full of questions and sorrow too at what this Messiah-life lived out as a man would be.  And yet she kept her mother-eyes, full of faith, on the manger.  A scared teenage mother, hurriedly and in a hushed manner married to her betrothed, exhausted after a long journey to Bethlehem and birthing the Messiah; yet in that moment that she saw Him in the manger, clinging to the Hope of a babe come down from His throne through her, a humble young girl who said yes to God.

And all I can do this advent season is the same- humble myself enough to keep my mother-eyes on the manger.  Humble myself enough to admit my fears and failures.  Humble myself enough to admit my desperate need of His grace to say yes to His call this season, and every other one . . . And exalt Him.  Exalt Him for His deep mercy in my life.  Exalt Him for His unrelenting love throughout my days.  Exalt Him for sending His son, as a precious, lowly baby in a manger.  Cherished Son becoming Mary’s son.  The Lion coming down like a Lamb.  The Word birthed as flesh.  The Prince of Peace born in a stable in Bethlehem.  The Bright and Morning Star, underneath the star, that led them all to Him.

And because of these truths, I can say, as Mary did “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”  And I cling to that through the questions, through the chaos, through the days that hurt and the days that rejoice.  I can sing my praise through my fears, like Mary, and humbly submit my doubts and questions to His unrelenting faithfulness.  And I can keep my gaze fixed to the manger, fixed on the one who brought Mercy down, the literal Emmanuel- God with us and among us forever.  And this advent season, despite its fast pace and hurts, I will find my rest in His presence in the manger and in my heart.  And I will let Him fill me with His love come down this Christmas.